5.
6. We check the wallet and the online banking...you were doing more tapping than Conor McGregor against that Russian lad. 'No mortgage applications for me this week, the financial adviser would have a heart attack.'
6.
7. We play hunger roulette...you don't know whether a good chicken fillet roll will crown you or send you back to the cold of the bathroom tiles.
7.
8. We renew our pledge...you now understand why Uncle Paddy was a pioneer. I'd rather be no craic and feeling grand now - I'm never drinking again.
8.
9. We revert to 'day off school' mode...There's nothing more soothing than taking refuge under a duvet downstairs. The novelty soon wears off after 16 episodes of Keeping Up With The Kardashians.
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