
1.
2. We listen to ourselves breathing...should I sound like this...maybe I punctured a lung...

2.
3. We believe we are actually dying. The heart palpitations may be a figment of our imagination cooked up while inexplicably listening intently to ourselves breathing, but the panic is real nonetheless.

3.
4. We wonder what we said and did in the pub... Your sober friend's postmortems won't help. 'Do you remember doing the boom floss with our old geography teacher?'

4.
5. We check our phone records. If the worst you've done is ring the taxi man 16 times while sitting in his car outside your house, you're doing okay.
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